Odds and Ends

Saturday, September 28, 2013

Alarming

The other day as we were driving around, I asked my companion how her back is doing because she developed a back ache a couple weeks ago.  She said it is doing better.  We began to wonder if it is our not-so-great beds that are the source of her problem.  She has decided that she is going to get rid of her horrible twin bed and sleep on her queen-size air mattress.  After dinner that evening, she did just that.  I heard her in her bedroom rearranging things so that she could fit her twin box spring and mattress and frame in her closet.  I don't know how she managed to get it in there and still have room for her clothes, but I guess she did it.  In the process of setting up her bed, she bumped a little handle-like object sticking out of the wall.  It was attached to a line much like a telephone or internet cable.   She kind of pulled on it when she was trying to push it back into place, and it set off an alarm.  I guess it is part of the security system, which we have been told absolutely nothing about.  I called the Apartment Management Services, and they asked if it was an emergency.  About that time the shrieking alarm went silent, but I told them I thought it was because I wasn't sure if the alarm would start up again or if it was summoning the police, which we really didn't want to have happen.  The security box by the front door was flashing a message "Enter Code 2 Police".  We left it alone and hoped that the alarm wouldn't start up again.  The lady on the phone said she was only an answering service but would put in a trouble order.  First thing the next morning, the Apartment Management called and said that they put in a call to the security company and they would get with us soon.  We never heard from them again.  The box on the wall continues its flashing message.  We are sure glad it wasn't really an emergency, because we would be dead by now for sure.  How embarrassing to think that the whole complex could hear our alarm.  I didn't realize that until the next afternoon when the building across the way had their alarm go off and it was REALLY LOUD.  Shortly thereafter the fire truck arrived at their door.  When my companion set off the smoke alarm while frying bacon the next night, I began to think maybe we should still try to contact the security company about fixing our alarm just in case we encounter the real thing.

This Week's History Lesson

As we have driven around the Southern Maryland countryside the past few weeks, we have identified more crops that we frequently see.  If we are not sure what it is, I get on the internet in the evening and look it up.  In addition to the tobacco fields, we have seen many, many farms with corn, soybeans, and sorghum.  Sorghum looks a lot like corn without the ears of corn, but it has the seeds at the top.  Some varieties get very tall and others are only a few feet tall.  The individual fields are not all that large around here (well compared to Montana farms).  I think they are grown more for their use in ethanol production rather than for food.  The soybeans are a legume crop which when rotated with corn and sorghum will help restore the nitrogen that those crops deplete.  

Sorghum field

We have also noticed a vine plant that is plentiful in Maryland.  It is the Kudzu vine.  It is similar to Ivy.  I don't think you want to purposely plant this one.  I saw an old house the other day that was almost completely covered by the Kudzu.  I didn't get a picture of it, but this one gives you a pretty good idea of what it looked like.  Not much roof was showing either.

 Kudzu Barn

LISTS

I have a feeling that my missionary work is not quite the same as what my children experienced or what the young missionaries of today experience.  Yes, we all wear a name tag that tells others who we are, missionaries and representatives of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.  But at least for this senior missionary it also serves a more practical purpose—as I have become more prone to forget things, when I am introducing myself, I can just look at my shoulder if I forget my name.  

So as I sit here, I can picture in my mind's eye the young missionaries as they quickly prepare and go forth with their days; probably quite a bit different from our planning.  Oh, we do forget a lot of things so we need a few memory aids.  That is why we have so many lists.  We have a printout of the ward directory, a digital spreadsheet of the ward directory, a digital copy of the ward directory sorted by towns, a condensed  copy of the ward directory by neighborhoods, a Google map with all of the data from the sorted city spreadsheet, and an expanded ward directory by neighborhoods with spaces for notes.  You would think this should be sufficient, but somewhere there is a flaw.  In the beginning, we started out by each taking a small notebook in which we wrote the names and addresses of the sisters we were going to visit that day.  After we went to each house, we indicated in our notebook who was home and who was not.  If we visited with them, we wrote a few things from our conversation to help us remember them better.  When we got back home we would transfer the notes to one of our digital or paper lists, not necessarily the same list each day.  Maybe that is the flaw.

Now after two months we have multiple pages of notes and multiple pages of lists and multiple pages of lists with notes.  On the positive side, we have met many wonderful sisters, and even though we may not remember everything about them, we do remember the good feeling that we have after visiting with them.  And I remember why I came out here; because of love for my family and the Lord.  That I will always remember.

Feed My Sheep

Sunday, September 22, 2013

Last Sunday I woke up early with a bout of vertigo.  The room was spinning and I felt quite a bit of nausea.  I used some essential oils and crawled back under the covers and hoped it would pass quickly.  After a couple hours of sleep, I felt much better and was able to go to church.  Tuesday morning I experienced vertigo again, this time not quite as bad.  I got up and took my morning walk but decided that I didn't want to chance having a dizzy spell while I was driving, so I asked Sister Boone to drive to our appointments.   By Wednesday, I felt comfortable with driving again and did okay for the rest of the week, although sometimes when I bend over or bend my head back too far, I still get a little dizzy.  I hope this will not be a chronic condition.

I was able to take care of a few personal needs this weekend.  I got my first haircut since starting my mission, and I found the time to take my car to the Subaru dealership and get an oil change and tire rotation.  I was a little nervous about taking the car in, because I worried that I would not get the same kind of friendly service that Doug Smith Subaru of American Fork gave me.  I was pleasantly surprised when the service exceeded my expectations.  I will gladly return when I need service in the future.

We have gone through most of the ward directory for White Plains 2nd Ward now.  We have quite a few sisters that we have not been able to visit because they either work or were gone when we stopped by but we will continue to call back.  We sat down with the Bishop and Relief Society President today to report on our progress and to receive further suggestions of how we can help them meet the needs of the sisters in the ward.

I don't have quite as much anxiety about the work as I did in the beginning.  We are encouraged by the amazing sisters we have met so far.  Some have been through some difficult times and some are currently going through their trials.  They are not too different from the sisters in Utah or anywhere else in the world for that matter.  As Lehi told his children, "For it must needs be, that there is an opposition in all things…"   That is how we grow.  We don't appreciate the trial when we are in the midst of it, but the growth that can come from overcoming adversity is wonderful to see.

Just Friday, we went to our 11:00 appointment and decided we had a few minutes to stop by a less active member's house before going to our 12:00 appointment.  We chose one of the sisters on our list and drove to her house.  When we drove up, two young men were sitting in a car out front.  One of them got out of the car and said he would go get his mom.  We were surprised to see that she is not really "less active" but is a sister we had seen in the temple the previous day.  She seemed a bit disturbed when she walked out of the house to greet us, but that was quickly replaced with a sense of relief.  She told us that the police had been called to their house by a neighbor or several neighbors, and they had only gone a few minutes before we arrived.  Her son was having a problem with anger management either due to drugs he should not have been taking or medications which he failed to take; she wasn't sure which.  The commotion he was causing by beating her property with a baseball bat had alerted several neighbors who called the police.  She told us that we had come at the perfect time.  She was worried about what her son was going to do now that the police were gone, because he thought it was his mom who had called the police, and he was still upset about it.  He left with his friend a few minutes after we arrived, and we were able to visit with the sister.  She has a very difficult situation to deal with.  Her husband has left the church and is not very supportive.  She is working hard to improve herself.  She is attending Weight Watchers and has lost 117 pounds since the first of the year.   Her house is in need of repairs and some good general cleaning, but it seems so fruitless to her when her son continues to mistreat her and the house when he has his fits of anger.  We expressed our concern for her wellbeing and told her that we would check back with her later in the day to make sure everything was okay.  Later in the evening she reported that he had come back in a calmer state of mind and she was okay for the time being.

We were glad to see her at church today.  I listened to the Sunday School lesson about the faith of the early pioneers who endured great hardship before they made it to Utah.  Then I listened to the Relief Society lesson about finding peace in today's world.  I heard these messages from the perspective of this good sister sitting in front of me, thinking about how she is trying her best to find relief from a difficult family situation.  When the teacher asked us how do we find peace when a family member strays from what they know is right, she said she realizes that prayer and temple attendance are her greatest source of strength as she is going through that very thing right now.  But sometimes we have to endure quite a bit of hardship before we find the peace that Heavenly Father has promised to His faithful saints.  There is hope in the promise that He will not give us trials greater than we are able to endure.

We met another amazing sister at our last appointment of the week.  She is a black sister who lived in Tennessee in her youth.  I think her education was not easy to achieve, but she went to college, I believe she said George Washington University.  She is retired from her job with World Bank Latin America after about 25 years.  She marveled at how they could expect her to work in a Spanish-speaking bank, being a Tennessee girl who didn't even know proper English, but she must have done okay to work with them for so long.  She raised three children, the youngest of which is still dependent on her care because of a learning disability.  Her husband left the church and joined a cult, so they separated years ago.  He was not involved in the family's life for many years until he was dying of esophageal cancer and came back and asked for her to care for him until his death in 2008.  In her retirement she is raising her two grandsons because their mother basically abandoned them.  She lives in a lovely home, neat and clean, beautifully decorated.  The word that comes to my mind to describe this sister is "indomitable."  When I looked up the definition of the word I found this:  "Something indomitable can't be beat.  People described as having indomitable spirits don't need pep talks or protein shakes; their strength comes from within."  We were both thinking that she seems to have an unshakable spirit and has really taken control of her life in spite of great challenges.  But usually there is more than the eye can see, and so it is for this sister who told us just before our visit ended that "she is going through a slump right now".  Except for this, we may have made a notation that we had visited this sister and she is doing fine and move on to someone else who really needs us.  Now I think, "Is there really anyone who does not need a hand of fellowship?"  One of the last events that the Apostle John recorded in the book of John was the Savior's plea to his apostles to "feed His sheep"--and so we will.

Heavenly Guidance

Thursday, September 12, 2013

Yesterday I was able to have dinner with Heidi, Joshua, and Isaiah.  Yes, it was only at Chik-fil-A but it was wonderful to spend a couple hours with her and the boys.  They brought along a couple kisses for Grandma.  It did wonders for my spirit.  Today I was further uplifted by being able to attend the temple again.  It gave me much time to reflect on just how very much our Heavenly Father and his son, Jesus Christ, our Elder Brother, love each one of us.  I cannot imagine a love as perfect as Christ's that would enable him to come to earth, show us how to live every law with exactness, and submit himself to the designs of evil men; that he would suffer and bleed from every pore because of the transgressions of others, and then die for us so that we may be forgiven and come back into the Father's presence if we would repent and promise to follow Him.  Greater love hath no man than this.

I have also reflected today on a thought that has crossed my mind many times in the last couple weeks.  To help us identify where we will focus on our visits each day, I put the ward list into a spreadsheet and then mapped it out on Google Maps.  I then listed the sisters in clusters of 10-14 people according to their neighborhoods.  In each group there are anywhere from 3 to 9 sisters that we believe are active members.  Additionally, there are maybe half a dozen that we have not met that we believe are less active.  We have 12 groups in 2nd Ward that we want to see by the end of the month.  We pick a different group each day and try to get appointments with about three active sisters and then call on the less active sisters for the remainder of the day.  Because of our planning or maybe in spite of our planning, we have felt the Lord guiding us in our visits.  He has helped us find houses when we were ready to give up because the addresses are not clearly marked.  And he has helped us find at least one person each day with whom we can have a meaningful visit and an invitation to return.  Sometimes the visit starts out a little awkward while they are deciding if they want to talk to us, and then they begin to tell us what is in their hearts.

Sometimes we have downright surprises from the very beginning.  One such incident happened on Tuesday, two days ago.   We knocked on a door in the early afternoon and received no answer.  We returned to our car, got in and buckled up.  I started the engine and put the car in reverse and began to leave.  Just then I saw movement on the glass of the front door as if the door had been opened ever so slightly.  Then the sister appeared in the doorway, and she was motioning to us.  We got out of the car and went back.  She saw our nametags as we introduced ourselves.  She said she was so happy to see us.  She asked if we could please come back.  She has actually been thinking more about the Church and about coming back.  She thought we were there to see her because of an unfortunate experience  she had with the young Elders a couple weeks ago where she was deeply offended.  We said we knew nothing about it; we were just visiting the members to try and get to know all of the sisters.  She said it was not a very good time to talk right then, but she wanted us to return.  We set an appointment for Friday and left with a promise that we would return.  I can't tell you how good it felt to have someone be excited that we had shown up at their door.  I can't wait for our return visit.

On Wednesday, our first appointment was later in the day so we tried to use our morning effectively by starting with some less active visits.  We had seen all of the sisters on the day's list and still had nearly an hour before our first appointment.  We grabbed our ward list and tried to decide where we could go that wouldn't be too far away.  We had been working on Group 6 but instead of going to Group 7 we skipped to Group 11 and randomly picked a sister who was less active.  We knocked and a sister came to the door, but it wasn't the sister we were looking for.  She said, "no she doesn't live here anymore."  We have heard that plenty of times.   I repeated the full name of the sister we were trying to find and she said go ahead and come in.  Then she explained that the person we were looking for was her daughter.  We asked this sister what her name was and learned that she was also a member, a less active one on our list who really needed our visit that day.  When we left, and headed for our next appointment, we pondered the wonderful fact that in spite of our shortsightedness and indecision sometimes as to who we should see, Heavenly Father is aware of each of those sisters' needs and He is guiding us to them.  After we go from house to house where we find no one home or no one interested, He guides us to the ones who need us.

Of Love and Sacrifice

Wednesday, September 4, 2013

Today we were unable to get any appointments so we just picked a neighborhood and stopped by each member's home to see if we could find someone to visit.  After driving all morning and stopping by each of the eight sisters that we had chosen to visit without being able to see any of them, we were a little discouraged.  For the first time it seemed that we would not find even one person to visit.  I turned the page of my appointment book to see a few more sisters' names that I had jotted down just in case we still had some time left for more visits.  The first three were just like the previous eight.  They had either moved or were not home.  Only one sister left.  We pulled into the driveway and a barking poodle came towards us.  We decided he didn't look too mean and got out of the car.  We headed in the direction of the front door when the sister called out to her dog from the shade of her back porch where she and her husband were taking a little break from their work.  We went back and introduced ourselves.

It is interesting to see the sisters open up as we visit.  We start with a little small talk about the weather, their house and yard, their pets, their children, etc.  Since they are on the records of the church, we assume that at some point they must have had a testimony.  We ask about how long they have been members of the church or how they were introduced to the church.  Some have just lost interest or have put their testimony aside because of family situations, and others share with us in their own way their little bit of a testimony that they still hold onto.  Sometimes, as was the case with this particular sister, after visiting for a while, they will open up and share with us life-changing events in their lives.  This sister shared with us the story of loss that their family has experienced the past year.  The first anniversary of the death of their 37-year-old son just passed.  He was in a motorcycle accident and died from a hereditary condition called malignant hyperthermia that they discovered after surgery.  His death was followed soon thereafter by the death of another family member.  Faced with such hard trials, some people will just give up and others will move forward with increased faith.  As we hear these shared experiences they suggest to us a spiritual thought that we can share with them or allow us to simply give encouragement and let them know that Heavenly Father loves them and is aware of their needs.  We can then ask if it would be okay to visit with them again.  This sister said it would be okay but added that she is seldom home.  We have her phone number so we can call on her again.  We found one more active sister who lived nearby and ended our day by visiting her.  It turned out to be a great day after all.

Thursday, September 5, 2013

Thursday we attended the temple and were able to participate in two sessions.  It is so interesting how the Lord works sometimes.  I shouldn't be surprised, but each time I have to offer a little prayer of thanks for His goodness.  After driving so far we really want to do more than one session, but if we miss the session immediately following our first, we have to wait an hour, and this puts us driving home in rush hour traffic, which we try really hard to avoid.  The window of time between sessions is so short that if we are not among the first ones seated, we are not able to finish in time to make it to the next session.  I just said a little silent prayer that if we were to have the opportunity to do two sessions today, please let us get our usual front row seats.  As we sat and waited to be seated, we realized that there was a sister who was going through for her own endowments, and this usually means family and friends attending to be with her and thus a larger session.  They seat the own endowment members and their families/friends first and then the rest of the participants, so we were pretty far back in the line.  How surprised we were to see that our "preferred seats" were still available for us to sit in.  I feel it was an extra special blessing because not only were we able to be finished in time to get in the following session, but there was a special young sister in a wheelchair in the next session who brought a very reverent feeling into the session.  We drove home with light hearts.

Friday, September 6, 2013

Today seemed to be a day for Grandmas.  We started the day with three appointments and then filled in the afternoon with cold calls again.  The first two sisters we visited I could relate to.  The first one grew up in Tooele, Utah.  She knows Danny.  She now lives in a very nice house on a large, well-kept piece of property surrounded by large white pines that they planted shortly after they moved there 37 years ago.  Their children are grown and gone, but she takes care of her granddaughter every day while her daughter works and has done so since the day the baby was born.

The second sister we visited is also a grandmother, a sweet sister from the Philippines who is living with her daughter and their family.  She moved to Maryland and left her home in Orem for an undetermined time so that she can care for her granddaughter while her daughter works.  She has served a mission in the Philippines and wants to serve another mission, but she told her daughter that if she wants to start a family, she will help care for their baby so the daughter can continue to work.  She had just turned in her papers to serve another mission when she found out that her daughter was expecting so she called off the mission and moved to Maryland.  They said they want to have another baby so this dear sister has basically committed the next eight years of her life to care for her grandchildren instead of going on a mission.  What's more, she is now over 70 years old, so her chance of serving another mission is diminishing with each passing year.  What a wonderful sacrifice these two sisters are making for their children.

Historic Commentary

September 3, 2013

Well, today was an historic day for Sister Boone and me!  It was my first time to drive us around on visits.  (I drove us home from church once last month and to church and back this past Sunday.)  But it was also the first time since Sister Boone has been out on her mission (she started February 23rd) that she has NOT had to drive around on visits.  Her former companion did not have a car so she drove all the time.  When I came, Sister Boone said she would drive in August and let me drive all of September, so here we are in September.  I only got lost a couple times when I didn't obey the GPS.  We were in Amish country today.  We saw a couple Amish horse and buggies on the roads (horse and buggies have the right of way).  It was like a step back in time to see an Amish farmer working in his field with a team of four horses abreast pulling what looked like a cultivator (I didn't get a good look since I was driving).  It took me back about 100 years. 

We drove past some tobacco fields, some that had not been cut and others that had been cut and placed on sticks in the field to begin the drying process before they are hung in the barn.

(These aren't the actual fields we saw, just some that I found that looked similar to what we saw--minus the man---and this is not a public endorsement of the use of or the value of tobacco; just an observation of a part of life in this corner of Southern Maryland.)