Like a Whirlwind

May 19, 2013

A Blessing of Comfort

Although the first two weeks between having my breast biopsy and receiving the results seemed to go so very slowly, the last week has been a blur of activity that has found me literally gasping for air at times.  On Sunday, the 19th, I drove from Clearfield to American Fork, met with my Bishop and let him know that I had cancer and would have to postpone my mission date.  I then attended Sunday meetings in 12th Ward.  I was reluctant at this point to say anything to others about my condition because I didn't want to have to do a lot of explaining.  I knew that once one person knew, everybody would be asking questions and casting sympathetic glances.  I wasn't quite ready to explain things over and over again, so I just kept silent.  I almost decided to slip in the back of the chapel for Sacrament Meeting and then just go home until 5:30 when I would go to Ammon and Abby's.  Pearl Bown came right over and gave me a big hug and we talked for a few minutes.  Then Pres. and Sis. Clarke came and sat down next to me.  It wasn't long before I felt like my eight months of absence from 12th Ward was swallowed up in warm greetings as if I had never been gone.  I enjoyed attending all three meetings and was greeted warmly.

Ammon and Brian said they would give me a Priesthood blessing after church.  I invited the Bishop to attend as well and take part in the blessing.  I am always grateful for the peace of mind that I am given whenever I have a Priesthood blessing.  My feeling afterward was that I am not going to have a long, difficult ordeal.  Well, I don't know about the difficult part, but I will still have the opportunity to serve a mission, whether now or later. 

While I was driving to American Fork from Heidi's, the thought came to me that this delay was necessary to help me learn some lessons that I have not yet learned.  It has everything to do with learning to be charitable and seeing others with pure Christ-like love.  The service that is rendered in my behalf at this time I need to turn around and give to others when I am on my mission, so I had better pay close attention and figure out how to give freely.  I know that I am going to have to accept help from others, which is hard for me to do sometimes.  I don't want to impose.  I know that everyone's time is valuable, and I don't wish to take away from others to fulfill my needs.  I found out that it is really hard for me to accept gifts of love from others.  Ammon and Abby have reached out with that pure love to help me feel comfortable while I am going through preoperative procedures, surgery, and recovery.  I scarce can take it in.

May 21, 2013

Meeting the Surgeon

The remainder of the week passed quickly.  On Monday, the surgeon's office called to confirm my appointment at 9:00 a.m. on May 21st.  I was surprised by this because I had asked specifically for the 2:30 appointment to give me a chance to drive to American Fork without dealing with rush-hour traffic.  They had placed my name in the wrong slot, so I went down Monday night, stayed with Teresa, and then the two of us went to my appointment together.  The surgeon performed a quick evaluation and then did an ultrasound with her portable machine, which did not reveal anything.  We talked about options for surgery which would be based on the outcome of additional tests and findings at the time of surgery.  I would be looking at the best case option of lumpectomy with lymph node biopsy or in the most extreme case a mastectomy with removal of all breast tissue and all lymph nodes.

The surgeon's nurse asked me to drop off a registration form at American Fork Hospital in preparation for surgery on Thursday, the 23rd.  Since I would need an EKG before surgery, I had that done after I completed the paperwork.  Later that day I was scheduled for the MRI at American Fork Hospital on Thursday, the 23rd, 1:00 p.m.

At this point, I was thinking that I would be making a lot of trips to American Fork in the next few weeks, so I moved from Heidi's to Ammon's a little sooner than I was thinking.  It was just easier as far as scheduling to be here and be able to accept any times the doctor and hospital may set for procedures.  When I came Tuesday to see the doctor, I brought some of my things with me.  Wednesday night, Heidi and I sat down together one last time to watch a Netflix show, something we did often to unwind after the boys were in bed.  On Thursday morning, the 23rd, I brought everything except my desktop computer and table, which Heidi said she would bring when she comes.  It was a lot harder than I expected to leave Heidi's that morning.  I have enjoyed my time with her so-o-o-o much!  No, it wasn't always easy.  There were schedules to juggle often, and challenges with trying to help Isaiah understand that Grandma wasn't there to take his Daddy's place, just to help out until he came home.  Before I left, Isaiah was very loving and accepting of me and we had a great time.  I would like to think that he might miss me a wee bit, but in reality, I think he is just eating up all of the special time he and Bryce are spending together and not giving Grandma Hatch much thought.

MISSION ASSIGNMENT CHANGE

I had told the Missionary Department contact that I would let them know as soon as I had a possible schedule for my surgery, recovery, and followup treatment so that they would know how to proceed with adjusting the schedule for my mission assignment.  They decided to change my mission start date to September 1, 2013.  I think I will still be in the Washington D.C. North Mission.  I hope this date will work for all of us.

  

May 23, 2013

The MRI (Magnetic Resonance Imaging)

On Thursday morning, I arrived at American Fork Hospital a few minutes early, checked in, and proceeded to the Radiation Department for my MRI of the breast region.  The technician was very congenial.  She explained everything that was going to happen and kept up a dialog during the 20-30 minute procedure to make sure I knew what was going on and what to expect at each stage.

To say that it is a noisy machine is an understatement.  Even with the earplugs that she provided me, it was hard to hear myself think, but I could hear her talking to me via a microphone, I think, when she was not taking pictures.  I was a bit concerned going in that I might have an episode of dry cough that I sometimes get.  But I did not cough and was able to hold completely still the entire time.  Well, as still as possible.  I tried to breathe normally, but found myself breathing with shallow breaths so as to not move my chest too much.  After a while, I had a feeling almost like hyperventilating and decided I had better breathe normally.  This helped.  To help me relax when I was getting too anxious, I recited in my mind The Family:  A Proclamation to the World and The Testimony of the Living Christ which I had memorized but not reviewed in a long time.  Sometimes it was hard to stay focused, but it allowed me to escape the noise and chaos in the room that was drowning me and concentrate more on the words of these wonderful documents.

About 4:00 p.m. the surgeon called me and told me that the MRI had revealed a lump directly under the nipple and an additional area of concern away from the nipple that was questionable tissue.  She said the radiologist was good and she trusted his interpretation, so she wanted to find out more about the tissue he had seen which was inconsistent with the right breast.  So she scheduled an ultrasound for the following day with a possible biopsy if the more sensitive hospital machine happened to pick up the "abnormal" tissue.

May 24, 2013

Ultrasound with possible biopsy

I arrived at 12:45 and went directly back to Radiology again.  This time I was taken to a room that was set up for me to get an ultrasound.  If they were able to pinpoint a questionable mass or tissue, they would do a needle biopsy to see if it was malignant or benign.  The technician seemed surprised that nothing was clearly visible on the ultrasound images to indicate a mass.  She called the radiologist in (who just happened to be my former Bishop), and he tried to identify something also.  He said he was very certain that they would find something with the ultrasound.  Since they did not, the surgeon wants me to get another MRI, this time with biopsy.  American Fork Hospital does not have this type of MRI machine, so I will be going to Utah Valley Regional Medical Center for this procedure on Tuesday, May 28th, the day before surgery.